We got the call!!!

After more than two years of waiting, with doubts and dreams and faith and tears, we got the phone call we’ve been so hoping for. We’re up! My daughter’s service dog is ready. This December, she and I will travel to New England for a two-week training and we will bring her dog home—a new member of the family, a new layer of support for her, a new being she can rely on to help her through the ups and downs of daily life. Since she was a toddler, I knew she needed extra support, even though I couldn’t say why. Within two months of her autism diagnosis at age 7, I applied for her to get a dog. My daughter can go from a rigid ball of nerves to a blissed out, happy kid after just moments with a dog. If I hadn’t seen it myself, I’m not sure I would have believed it. There is no drug that works this well (or at least not without scary side effects).

This is something from a dream. I told my sweet girl the news today and she held me tight, sobbing and looking up at me with eyes so filled with emotion—gratitude and love and hope—and it made every bit of the last two years worthwhile.

From the bottom of my heart, I thank my family, my friends, and my community for helping to make this happen. There is no way I could have raised this money without you. You have listened, supported me, and held me through this journey, and I am endlessly grateful. Autism can be this invisible struggle—on the outside, my daughter looks like she’s coping, and well-meaning strangers often minimize the extent of her challenges. In spite of her incredible progress over the years, she still struggles with daily tasks on a level that can be staggering. Having a dog will be completely life changing and will give her immense support and independence. Every drawing I have created, every mug I’ve sold, every donation that was made helped us get closer. We have just reached our fundraising goal, we have a date set for our team training, and we have less than two months to wait.

We will get there. I am so humbled, I am so joyful, I am so ready to make this happen for my daughter. Thank you for being part of this beautiful journey. Thank you for believing in us.

Hanging out with one of our favorite furry friends.

This Wasn't the Plan: When Ideas about Parenthood Meet Reality

My husband was supposed to be a stay-at-home dad. I had the career track, the benefits, and the drive. My child had other plans. Born just a day shy of 42 weeks, my daughter came into the world wanting one thing and one thing alone: Mama.

I have vivid memories of working 60 hours a week from home, with my infant daughter marathon-nursing on a pillow in my lap. I don't know how I made it through those three months (my thyroid didn't), but eventually I quit my job and became a full-time, stay-at-home, baby-wearing and future home-schooling mama.

I'd be lying if I said I've never looked back, but I don't have regrets. What it would have done to my child to spend much of her day away from me is beyond thought. I was her lifeline--she did not understand the world without me to interpret it for her. It's been ten years, and while much has changed for her, this is one area that has remained constant. I am still very much her anchor, her interpreter, her safety. It's not because I'm some kind of autism expert. It's not because I have all the answers. I mess up every day and take it to the playground more than I care to admit. I just know this child. I know all the subtle dynamics that can shift a good mood to WWIII. I know how deep she digs when she digs in, and I know how to find a way out when she backs herself into a corner. I also know that I am separate from her. It terrifies me honestly. To be so much for one person is the greatest honor, but it would be selfish of me and short-sighted to not think about her future.

A service dog won't provide all the answers. A dog will be more work, more inequity between her and her sister, another being to make space for. But the dog will give her someone else to plug into. Someone else to help her up when she falls--to lean into when the world seems stacked against her. I gave up the career track and I'd do it again in an instant. To be so much for her, to see her thrive and grow and knock down barrier after barrier because she has the support she needs is all the affirmation I could ever ask for. And one day, she'll have a leash in her hand and another layer of support to help her face the world with strength, stability, and courage.